Suck Out The Poison

I'm rather surprised I've been using this blog thing a lot more then i intended to use. So lets start off I have no best friend in Philadelphia anymore but its whatever. I need to get out of this town because trust me it will be the downfall of us all. I need something new something different to look forward to. I'm sick of the same thing everyday, I'm sick of my job, I'm sick of not having money anymore, I'm sick of a lot of people, I'm pretty much sick of living anymore. I basically feel like a failure anymore. I feel like I'm failing at life practically. I feel like I do school work and feel like I only am getting horrible grades. I feel like I have become a loser, poor and pathetic. I feel like I give and do and get nothing. I need to like freak out or I'm gonna explode. I also keep having thoughts that my life will end up down the drain. I wanna go to school for recording arts but any school I choose is going to be out of state and of course no one wants to go with me. Maybe I'm really hated by everyone. I also want to be a musician and tour the world having fans scream my name. It probably wont happen, I cant manage to even start a band. I am beginning to think I'm just alone in this world. I don't know what to do anymore.

"If you've got the magic, then I've got the moves and we'll see who will be hanging who"

Adventure? Excitement?

A Jedi craves not these things.

So where to start this pointless thing? I guess by rambling. School is a drag and a half.I can't stand waking up every morning to go somewhere to just sit around for hours. Anyway my best friend is coming up from Florida for a week and staying with me but apparently I can't be trust. But if I'm not trusted why be with me? I don't get it, you can't love or be in love with someone who you cannot trust. I hate that more then anything, I hate feeling bad for stuff I don't do. Like if I have plans with friends but you want to see me...I feel bad that I can't see you. But you don't realize it I don't think. I don't know what you think or feel. But I do know trust is a major part in a relationship. It legit hurts my feelings to not be trusted. Other then that i no longer have a "best" friend here in Philly anymore. Apparently there's no time for me in her schedule. So my life kinda sucks at the moment. I also need another job. Shoot Me?

"Now your trying to create a scandal,
But you've gotta find a different handle
It's not that bad just wait and see
And boy your missing out on everything
Every note you sing,will burn your throat like warm whiskey
And you will not grow if you don't learn how to breathe"

What's Gonna Happen?

I keep thinking a lot about the future and whats gonna happen. What's gonna happen with friends, crystal and everything. After high school I want to go to a secondary school for recording. I want to learn everything about different recording programs and eventually open a studio or work in the industry. I know if I work hard and I'm good at it i can make a great career in the music industry and make alot of money. I've been looking at schools all over and the best ones are no where near Philly. Which makes me think what if i go to one of the schools out of state? What's gonna happen to Crystal and me? My friends and everyone. I need help...

"I don't believe in miracles, but I believe in you"

I Am Legend

So I'm sitting in class bored as hell so i thought why not make a blog? I probably wont use this much but that's just me. Anyways work today 4-8pm not bad I guess. Lately I've been mad hype on Lil' Wayne and He Is legend. School is a drag hopefully ill get work roster and be able to leave all early ! Crystals birthday is Friday, she'll be 17 that girl is the best =]. Cousins wedding Saturday we'll see how that goes ahah.